On May 3, 2014 I married the love of my life and we pledged for better or worse, in sickness and in health and we meant it. Little did we know that those vows would be tested so early on. In July of the same year, I suffered the loss of my mother. She died on her birthday - July 29, 2014. The grief was unbearable at times but God saw me through. I pressed on and life continued to bring ups and downs. Days of sadness, laughter and at times fond memories and hope for the future. Then on January 2015, I received a promotion on my job which would mean a transfer to a smaller town about 20 minutes away. I jumped in with expectations of putting everything into my career and climbing the corporate ladder. My plans, however did not align with what God had planned for my life.
On April 30th 2015, my life changed again drastically. I had been dealing with an illness since 2010 which left me wheelchair bound. After months of physical therapy and medication, I regained my mobility and began walking again. Then on that faithful day in April, those pains from the past resurfaced and my mobility declined and once again I became wheelchair bound. I remain in that condition at this very moment - a year later.
Through the course of this past year, I became like a caterpillar in a cocoon and I shut myself off from my ministry, my friends and at times even family. My faith has been tested yet I have never asked God why. To be honest, I really haven't asked him much of anything. Sometimes I felt like I had no voice. I could not find the words to say. God was so patient with me and as I would sit in the silence, God would say things like, "I love you", "I'm still here", and "This is not the end." As the months began to linger, God showed me that just because I am in a wheelchair my life is not over. I still have a purpose. Through my struggle and through my pain, I can be a light for someone else.
I am learning to trust God with my whole heart again. I gave God some things in my life but others I just held onto. I forgot how to lay them at His feet. I have suffered loss and am enduring pain but my joy still remains in tact. God is continually showing me that I have to endure the tough times to get to where He wants me to be. I may have visions and dreams of what I want my life to be but at the end of the day, my life is in His hands. His purpose for my life will come to pass. I am now yielding completely to His plan.
This blog post signifies a new start. An opportunity to share my truths as I see them. No fuzzy sayings, no sugar coated play on words. I want to encourage each of you to go along the journey with me. This is my new mantra and I hope you will embrace it as your own - Be Real. Be Authentic. Be YOU!
Until next time.... XOXO