From the time I was a little girl, my parents instilled upon me the power of prayer. I would see my mom overcome great obstacles in her life and I know it was all because of prayer. I heard sermons about prayer and read Scriptures reemphasizing what I had heard all my life. As a result I became a prayer warrior. I would find myself praying in the car on the way to work - eyes open of course! I would feel the urging to pray for people that God would lay on my heart and I would do it without hesitation. I faced battles and my first instinct was to pray.
Then when my illness left me confined to a wheelchair for the second time....I lost the fervency I once had in prayer. Even though I had prayed my way through storms before, sometimes life can knock you down so hard that you lose the zeal and thirst you once had. All of a sudden, I didn't feel like praying. I could not even come up with the words to say. How could this happen? My prayers had seen me through sickness, the loss of loved ones, financial troubles yet in what seemed like an instant, I did not feel like praying.
When I would sit in the silence, I knew that God was longing to hear from me but I did not know what to say to Him. I felt like Elijah who had once called down fire from Heaven and later was hiding from Jezebel under a juniper tree. How did such a mighty man of God like Elijah go from declaring and decreeing to towering in fear? I have asked myself that same question as it relates to my own life. I don't have a magic answer to that question but what I am gaining from those moments is that sometimes the silence is good because it gives each of us an opportunity to sit in our truth. Sometimes we can get so busy hearing ourselves talk that we don't take the time to listen. Many of us are afraid of the silence. The silence was scary for me because it was uncomfortable. I was no longer in control of what was going to happen next. I could only wait. I had to nurse my wounds and come to the realization that I was letting my situation define who God is in my life instead of letting God show me who He is through my situation.
Because of God's omniscience, He knew that my current situation would leave me in a dry place. He also knew that once I became thirsty enough, I would return to the fountain and drink. Isn't it amazing how God uses the dry places in our life to reiterate how much we need Him! As I sat in the silence void of prayer, God was still drawing me to Him. I didn't ignore the silence but I sat in it and eventually I found my way to the fountain to quench my thirst.
The urge to pray began to rekindle, but I had to reconnect to God again. I bought a book called, Pocket Prayers - 40 Simple Prayers that Bring Peace and Rest by Max Lucado and it was life changing. I highly recommend it! Each page starts with a scripture and ends with a corresponding prayer. My husband and I use it every morning. At first that was the only prayer that I rendered to God. Soon enough, however the words began to emerge and prayer began to flow from my lips. My relationship with God has gone to a different level. This does not mean that I am exempt from ever going to that place again. It just means that now I am aware that life can sometimes lead us down a path that we never thought we would travel. Ignorance is a deadly weapon the enemy uses to keep us bound. I am glad to say that I am free today because I yielded to the lesson God was trying to teach me.
There are still times, however that I don't feel like praying and when that happens, I sit in the silence, unveil my truth and let God minister to me. He always does.
What have you learned or seen God do through your prayer life? I would love to hear your testimonies, lessons learned, etc.
Until next time....Be Real. Be Authentic. Be You.